Connections.

What will be the reason behind connections and chemistry, between us and others, even us and objects?

People, good or bad, connections with animals, tame or wild, connections with objects and a connection with nature or elements of nature.

I have instant connections, and then I admit to having connections that had to grow over time.

I  do have a few people in my life, that I had no connection with when we first met, but as we got to know one another and spend time together, the connection started to grow, especially when you have a lot in common.

Friendships, 20 years later and the connection start again at that moment, no amount of time interfered.

I have people that I have met, only once, for a few days, or over a period of time, seeing them only 2 or 3 times a year, but I formed a connection so strong that it will last forever.

The connections with my boys were instant, the moment that I new I was pregnant and then that second I first met them, looked at them and smelled them. Nothing will break that connection or our invisible cord.

And after a lot of soul searching I had to admit that I was disconnected from myself on so many levels, I call it my darker side, others might call it the black hole. This can mean so many things and every person will have different ideas. I hope to start working on connecting with myself and take responsibility for my own happiness.  Dismissing my own feelings, resulted in feeling invisible.
I know that I allow others to drain my energy and I have found myself lost on more than one occasion. I urgently need to connect with my feelings, so that I can start on the path to the real me.

The most embarrassing eye opener are those connections that were never real. I really thought that I have a good and real connection only to find out years later that I was blind or unable to see the connection was a lye and that I was too trusting. Ignoring my six-sense. The hurt only adds to the self disgust. I don't know why I could not see the connection being corrupt. I might have been at a place in my life where I could not see the truth and I could or would not listen to my gut. I thought this was what I needed, even if I was lying to myself and I did not want to hear that I might have been wrong.

Not making a connection or having bad feelings about people, are part of life. I believe it protects us from harm. And no matter how hard I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, my six sense kept on screaming for me to get away, I can't remember when I have been wrong about people, every time I felt this very negative connections.

I have also met people and those overwhelming negative almost evil feelings were so intense that it made me fiscally sick, and the hate and disgust were so shocking that I was knocked on my ass.

My friends are an eclectic mix of people, younger and older than me, both male and female. And from different cultural backgrounds.
And those connections turned into relationship, and at the end of the day, it is those relationships that can be seen by the people around us.
Each of us need as many different people around us as we can find, we need to learn from one another, non of us will be able to survive without the energy of others around us. I need all of them 20 years older or 20 years younger and everyone in between.

Even as a child I had very strong connections with animals and nature, I had a little dog that use to cry real tears when I cried. Cat's that lived wild when I was not home, but they arrive at the house even before I did after being away for weeks, and did not leave the house until I was gone.

I need to connect with nature often, even if it is to smell cut grass, rain on a dirt road, walking in a forest or just walking on the beach with the waves around my feet.

I learned this at a very young age, I think I was about 5. I needed nature to boost my energy and to feed my soul. I get to unplug for a little while.

Water is my element, even if Fire are part of my star sign, Aries. Water is the west sign, no wonder I love sunsets. Water are directly connected to your emotions and can help nourish and clean you. I love our South African late afternoon thunder storms, big drop on our tin roof. But I have to admit that I hate soft rain that last for days. My fire element as an Aries, need the sun everyday.

Non of us can explain some of the strange connections that we make, but I want those millisecond connections, the ones that makes your heart beat just a little bit faster, and make me feel alive.